I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize