drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
