morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize