Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
