We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My dick has a subreddit
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
