Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it glows. i had to have it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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