nutella sex= disaster
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
