My hand turned me down
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
