she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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