so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
