i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
