Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
