I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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