I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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