i permit you to call me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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