I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
