we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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