Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
