i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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