I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
