like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
