don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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