I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
