oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
