I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
