One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
