yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
