I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
