check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
