Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
