Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Randomize
