this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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