I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize