My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
