I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
