We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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