You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
