Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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