Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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