so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
