i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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