what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
