Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
