This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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