can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
