We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
