a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
