Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dear god my vagina.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize