She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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