I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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