yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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