So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
