Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
