my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
