chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your penis caused this!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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