yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
