there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
