I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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