She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
