how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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