Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
