i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
