HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize