and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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